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Five Years Gone
Date: Spring 2012 Characters: Jamie Madrox, Kirin Yi Summary: In… 
16th-Oct-2007 05:19 pm
Date: Spring 2012
Characters: Jamie Madrox, Kirin Yi
Summary: In which Jamie tries his best to keep his secret, no matter how unmanageable it becomes.
Warnings: none
Status: In Progress...

He'd allowed himself half a Vicoden and an hour spent curled up on the side of the couch, having dumped out a can of beer down the sink and set it in front of him as silent explanation for any...off-ness, he might display. Hiding the bandage under a bulky sweatshirt and a blanket, watching whatever trash passed for TV these days.

Forcing himself to remain cool, calm, when the keys turned in the lock.
16th-Oct-2007 09:45 pm (UTC)
"Jamie?" Kirin called as he opened the door and stepped inside. He knew the other man was home, he could see Jamie on the couch, but was checking to see if the other was still awake.

"I'm home."
16th-Oct-2007 09:51 pm (UTC)
"Hey," Jamie murmured, not moving from his space on the couch, pretending to be absorbed in whatever it was that the television was playing.

"Was wondering when you were going to get in."
16th-Oct-2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
"It's been a long time since the last time you got home before me," Kirin said as he moved over to the couch and sat down next to Jamie. "You don't look so good. Are you okay?"

He reached over and placed his palm against Jamie's forehead.
16th-Oct-2007 09:59 pm (UTC)
Jamie shook his head under Kirin's touch, huddling a little further under the blanket.

"I'm fine. Just tired."
16th-Oct-2007 10:08 pm (UTC)
"More than tired," Kirin argued, not letting the issue drop, he had a feeling there was more to it than that. There was an empty beer can near the couch, but Jamie didn't seem drunk at all. "It's not cold, but you're all covered up. You look sick, or going to be sick."
16th-Oct-2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
And of course Kirin wouldn't let him by on that and of course this was turning out a lot harder than he'd pretended it was going to be.

"Maybe I'm coming down with something," he said, barely catching himself before he attempted a shrug. "No big deal."
16th-Oct-2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
"It really isn't that bad?" Kirin frowned as he watched the other man, and reached over to smooth his hands over the blanket covering Jamie. As much as Jamie would insist it wasn't a big deal, it wouldn't do much to dispel Kirin's concern. Jamie had acted similarly when the man had absorbed injured duplicates, and it bothered Kirin whenever Jamie tried to hide it.
16th-Oct-2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
He couldn't hide the flinch that came when Kirin's hand pressed along his shoulder. Nor the sudden paling of his features.

"It really isn't," Jamie answered steadily, staring at the TV, willing the sharp pain to fade. "Just tired and a headache."
16th-Oct-2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
He moved his hand away quickly, Jamie's reaction impossible to ignore. "You didn't wince when I touched your head. You're in pain, more than a headache, I can see it."

Kirin moved and sat on the floor between the TV and the couch, not letting his lover shut him out or avoid his gaze. "What is it? Did you have to take in a hurt one?" Are you hurt?
16th-Oct-2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
"It's nothing," he insisted stubbornly. "Routine hazard stuff. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

Let it go. Let it go cause if you catch me lying it's going to be so much worse.
22nd-Oct-2007 05:31 am (UTC)
"It's not nothing, not with you," Kirin frowned and stared at the other man. "If you're hurting...I can't ignore it. You don't have to hide it. You don't have to hide it from me."
22nd-Oct-2007 05:35 am (UTC)
"I'm not hiding..." he started to protest, trailing off at the look on Kirin's face, gritting his teeth.

The rational part of him told him this was unfair, that if Kirin hid an injury from him he'd be furious and hurt. That lying to the other man wasn't doing them either any favors. But the rest...

"I don't want you to worry."

It was as close to an admission as he could bring himself to give.
22nd-Oct-2007 05:50 am (UTC)
"I worry even when everything seems okay," Kirin sighed and looked away. "It doesn't mean I wouldn't notice when it could be real. I'll still worry. I know you've had to take care of me, but I can take care you too. I'm not...I'm not that broken."

22nd-Oct-2007 05:58 am (UTC)
Shame filtered through him at the words, biting his lip fiercely.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the blanket down, stripping off the sweatshirt carefully and hoping Candice had dropped the illusion.

"We stopped at a diner. Right in the middle of some huge blow out. I was hit in the arm."

22nd-Oct-2007 06:18 am (UTC)
"You...were hit?" Kirin's fingers shook as he reached toward Jamie before he hesitated at the last moment. He was unsure where it was okay to touch, and he didn't want to make it worse.

"By what?"

From what Kirin could see, Jamie looked uninjured, which conflicted with how the man acted and what he had just told him. His lips moved silently and he looked over his shoulder, feeling like this was more than just a trick of his mind. "Even if I don't want to see...it should still be there."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:21 am (UTC)
"Dammit," he breathed, frustrated and angry with himself, reaching up to take Kirin's wrist with his good hand, laying his palm over the injury and wincing.

"Candice is hiding it. Because I asked her to." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:31 am (UTC)
"Why? Why did you...?" he shook his head sharply and moved his hand away, his voice trembling from anger and a feeling Kirin couldn't describe.

"You...were hurt, and you...can't tell me. Why?"
22nd-Oct-2007 06:34 am (UTC)
He ducked his head, biting into his lip.

"I didn't want you to get upset," he whispered. "It was my stupid mistake and it wasn't a big deal and I didn't want you to be upset."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:43 am (UTC)
"I am upset, you were hurt, but what they make us do...sometimes we get hurt. When you split, sometimes they die, sometimes they get hurt instead, but you feel it. I know that. I hate it, but I know it." Kirin said and closed his eyes. "It hurts when I know but you won't tell me."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:47 am (UTC)
"I just..." A hand came up to press over his eyes, guilt heavy in him. "If I pretend hard enough...if you can't see it and no one knows and I can just deal with it until it's gone..."

He trailed off, looking back up at Kirin. "It's almost like nothing bad happens. It's easier. It's cowardly, but it's easier."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:55 am (UTC)
"I pretend sometimes," Kirin admitted softly, the admission dampening his anger for being angry at Jamie when he often did the same thing. "I don't think it's easier. Pretending to be what you're not is hard. You shouldn't have to pretend, not with me."
22nd-Oct-2007 06:59 am (UTC)
"I just feel like things are so fragile sometimes," he whispered, meeting dark eyes helplessly. "Around us, between us. I just need to have something where nothing bad can touch it."

He shook his head, gaze falling, good hand reaching out to Kirin, wanting him close. Knowing he made the other man angry when he did things like this, always had.

A lie with good intentions is still a lie.

"I'm sorry."
22nd-Oct-2007 07:07 am (UTC)
"I'm sorry, I wish things were better." I wish I was.

Kirin grasped Jamie's good hand with his own and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. "It will get better. Just don't...hide anymore."
22nd-Oct-2007 07:11 am (UTC)
Jamie pulled at his hand, tugging him onto the couch beside him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered once again, meeting Kirin's eyes. "I won't."

He knew as soon as he said the words that he would, the action so ingrained at this point, so much a part of him. But he would try. Because Kirin was right, he wasn't broken. And Jamie needed to stop thinking of him like he was.
22nd-Oct-2007 07:18 am (UTC)
"Promise?" Kirin whispered and carefully brushed his fingers through Jamie's hair. "You'll let me take care of you sometime, I want to if you'll let me."
22nd-Oct-2007 07:21 am (UTC)
"I promise I'll try," he murmured, leaning slightly into the touch. "I can't promise I won't slip up, but I'll try."

He met the other boy's eyes. "I will. Let you. I want you to take care of me."
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